3.28.2006

Checking In, After 10 Months Later

I spent about 10 months in Bangalore, India alone and without immediate family or friends in close proximity. They were about 10,000 miles away and 12.5 hours behind local time. What that does to a person emotionally is not immediately noticeable while you are going through intense feelings of being alone or loneliness. This is especially hard when the culture around you is so deeply family oriented and when spirituality is literally floating around you. I had friends but I did not genuinely connect with all of them, just a couple. You know who you are! You are my true friends for life and I appreciate everything you have done for me when I was in Bangalore.

I went to India because I wanted to get the full time job with Intel and to also get the international experience at the same time. When I was offered the position back then it was the ideal situation for me. I was not married, had no children, no mortgage, debt free, and I was young and motivated. After all, I only had to give up at least one year of my life in the US. I felt the positives of experiencing a life and starting my career in India outweighed the unknown negatives that may arise during the year. Living in different countries has always been a large part of my life. I was born to a commercial pilot, who was the captain of the Malaysian Airlines, travel and emigrating was the norm. I was born in the Philippines, spent 6 years of my childhood in Malaysia, and the next 25 years was spent growing up in the cultural melting pot of suburban Los Angeles. I was not afraid to go to India. It was a natural thing for me to consider, even without visiting the country.

Now 10 months later, I am back in Portland, OR. I am close to being settled. It's close because I will consider myself settled once I finally buy a condo or a house, which will happen after my lease is up at the end of December. So for now I am happily researching and getting myself acquainted with the real estate world. I also have a kick ass car, found a puppy soul mate named Mochi for Kylie, and just enjoying every aspect of my life in Portland. My career is also taking off and I truly love bonding with my lovely Portland friends and also making new life long friends.

The connection I've made with many of my friends has helped bring me back to life. This is what life is all about for me. My perspective and outlook on life is more positive than ever before and that reflects on my every day emotion and interactions with everyone around me. The pulse is beating away happily. I felt so dead in the last 3 years and I was just so wrapped up in my own turmoil that I didn't feel much for everything that happened around me. My experiences of being alone in India has certainly enriched my life - in personal, professional and spiritual aspects. It's amazing to be feeling this way, to be in one of the most highest and happiest times of my life.

What was reinforced from this unique situation and experience in India is that everything that happens does have a meaning to it. Everything does happen for a reason - the true reason will always be positive. It may not be immediately evident and it may take months to years before you can ever realize why it ever happened. But just believe that what ever happens, it happens for a reason and no matter how good or bad the experience is the flip side to it will always be positive - the true and real reason will be positive. India will always have a special place in my heart and my life. I know that years and years from now I will continue to uncover many more life lessons from that experience that will shape my life and I will share to those close to me.

6.18.2005

Life As Under Construction

It's been a couple months since I've last written in this blog. I am now back in Portland, OR, USA. Back in the good 'ol Pacific Northwest. I left Bangalore, India on May 4th, this time I didn't miss my flight. The journey back was very memorable. I met may foreigners on the flight who just started working in Bangalore for different MNCs. I quickly understood how Bangalore was continuing to grow at an exponential rate. I wondered how Bangalore - the local government and its people would keep up. I did notice how quickly my own neighborhood grow, from new DVD stores to new grocery stores to a new car dealership. But the infrastructure is lacking and during the 10 months that I was there I hardly saw any improvement. I know that the locals and the expats are frustrated that nothing is being done.

What is being planned? Is the government just that corrupt? It's just so complex. But Bangalore just seems so far away now. I am still trying to make sense of my whole stay there. I was there for 10 months, not enough time really to truly absorb Bangalore and India. By the time I was leaving life was really beginning to flow there but it was time to go. I had a positive international experience and was ready to further advance my career back in the US. I would love to go back to Bangalore in another 5 years and see how it's changed.

I still plan to continue this blog. I've enjoyed reading the comments, critics, praises and feedback from everyone around the world. Please keep it up. Until tomorrow......

4.28.2005

I made an autorickshaw driver laugh today when I said "stop, mari (sp?)" after he passed my house. I didn't think he was expecting that. But it made me smile to make him laugh. :)

I will miss this place. I really hope I get to come back often on business as well as personal trips of course!

4.19.2005

Leaving too early?

Of course with all goodbye's come a period of regret. Am I leaving too soon? Did I not experience all that I wanted? What more can I do? If I can do it all over again what would I change? I did just start to feel really at home when I came back just this past January. Now I'm feeling sad that I'm leaving in less than 2 weeks.

4.16.2005

A sad hello is to be expressed in the future
Am I going to have regrets?
I expected a much happier reunion
But looks like I am a failure at this
As my heart has been feeling pain
Expressionless and emotionless I shall become
What mess have I brought upon myself now?
Should I stay here longer?
Will it mend things between us?
Uncertain of how to approach this rift
There’s no excitement of coming near
Only angst and fear
How I long to see that familiar smile
Only in it’s truest sincerity.